dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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