my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
