They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
