you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize