how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
