im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
