mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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