He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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