My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize