nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
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