never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
