me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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