Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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