You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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