They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I AM VODKA MAN
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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