wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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