would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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