So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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