I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
