no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
