I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
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