I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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