that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
