this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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