There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
tequila makes me forget i have legs
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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