The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dont lie about slip and slides
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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