Can Purell be used as lube?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
