this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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