i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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