it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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