I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
