Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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