Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
