Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
