Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
