I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
