Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
