Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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