were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
