i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
