Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
