As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
