I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
