I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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