there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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