ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
