So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
