Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
