I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
