absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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