and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize