i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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