Where did you get a picture of my penis
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
