420 ftw
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
