I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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