Having a random hookup so left but love u
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
