Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I FOUND THE LEGS
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
All the doctor said was why
Randomize